My Writing (constructive criticism)? All suggestions for improvement welcome!?

///EW EARTH
Preeminence

“Carson, what’s your position…? Carson, do you copy?” a voice sounded over Sean Carson’s com.

Sean wasn’t answering his commanding officer. Instead he was heading in the direction of the CEC through the war-torn streets of Washington DC with his M-12 pressed against his chest. His uniform smattered in an urban grey provided sufficient camouflage along with a black protective assault vest and shin guards.

His eyes darted up and down and side to side as he scouted possible positions enemy combatants might take up to stage an ambush. His Spec-Ops training made him a deadly adversary. Sean was alert, concentrated and emotionless. His mind was set on one thing, and that was to get to the CEC to find Kate.

Constant explosions rocked the metropolis only a few blocks from his position. Smoke was rising from half the buildings in the city as small arms fire and panic echoed through the streets up ahead.

Sean paused abruptly at the sound of several objects approaching over-head. Suddenly several enemy aircraft flew past the sky unexpectedly with a thundering roar of jets. He jumped as far as he could for cover, just before one of the aircraft dropped its payload only a half-block away. The shear concussion of the explosion was almost enough to madden a deaf man as fragments of rubble and debris shot screaming in every direction, followed by a blinding cloud of smoldering smoke.

Sean was lucky he dove behind an old car just before the explosion, but he wasn’t without injury. The ear-piercing shockwave of the explosion impaired his ability. He tried to stand as he staggered around while coughing profusely. He could barely get to his feet. His hearing was diminished and his vision was distorted. He tried to maintain his balance, but could not. He slumped against the car as he held his pain throbbing head with both hands. He sat there for several minutes while continuing to cough before regaining a small amount of his fortitude.

Sean was resilient and his goal was of the most importance to him. He wasn’t going to let his injuries stop him from reaching the CEC, so he picked up his M-12, which lay on the cement next to him. He rose to his feet and began to look around, but nothing was visible through the thick dust which now encompassed several square blocks.

Static started resonating through Sean’s com but the voice was unintelligible until it began to come through more clearly.

“Carson… Carson, do you copy?” a voice said just before the static picked up again for a few seconds prior to becoming clear once more. “Carson, are you there? Answer me damn it!” the voice shouted.

Carson coughed before looking at his shoulder where his com was strapped. He slowly reached for it but paused just before taking the com, the twinge showed on his face. He was in excruciating pain.

“Carson, do you copy? This is Sergeant Ross…”
Carson could barely work up the strength to reach the com unit hanging on his shoulder.
“Carson, here…”
“Private, what’s your position?”
“I’m—“Sean couldn’t begin to even start his sentence, instead he groaned loudly before switching off his com prior to getting back down on the ground.

He reached into his pack and pulled out a small red cylindrical tube that he proceeded to unscrew before a large syringe was revealed in his hands. He began to read the label… “Warning; use of this compound may result in blindness, paralysis or death. Utilize at your own risk.”

The syringe was filled with a G-2 experimental stimulant. Soldiers on the battlefield were required to carry it, should mortal wounds occur. Roughly half the soldiers who ever use it end up dead in just a few minutes. Those who survive its effects receive an exponential boost to their visual equity, stamina, and motor functions. It was engineered to keep soldiers fighting on the battlefield for several more hours even after sustaining deep wounds, which was just exactly what Sean needed. But the risk was high. If the stimulant didn’t work he would die. If it did work, he would become stronger and faster than he was before, but not without possible side effects.

Sean heard a few stories about the soldiers who survived a dose from G-2. Most of them ended up paralyzed, do to the extreme strain on the nervous system. A few others came out fine, but the odds of that were not high. He didn’t want to use the G-2, the risk was too great. But he had to. He had to find Kate and make sure she was alright.

Sean raised the syringe to his arm, about to inject the substance when he began to stall. He stalled like a man that puts a weapon to his head, so sure of what he’s doing, but at the same time terrified to take his own life.

I can’t lose confidence now, I have to find her! Sean thought to himself, just before working up the courage to plunge the syringe into his arm.
lol I appreciate your answer. You’re making me laugh though, the way you put it

Want to buy my first R/C Airplane?

I am an absolute beginner in the RC model world, and while I have at times flown real aircraft have no idea how to fly a RC model. I am looking to buy a model aircraft,

I need advice on a beginners model perhaps a powered glider? To learn on I would like it to be easy to build/fly but not to look like a child’s toy (a bit of an ego thing). If you can think of any RTF or ARTF KIT’s (including all the extras i’l need) you have that meet my spec.

BIG THANK YOU

Problem With GTA SA. Help Me?

ok My Computer specs are
2.2ghz Intel Pentium Dual core
256mb Nvidia GeForce 7050
1401mb Dedicated Video Memory
3 gb Ram
Realtek HD Audio.

Ok that’s computer specs.
Since I First playing GTA SA, I have this Kinda lagg.
Like if i am driving in a car and i press forward or accelerate it will respond about .5 secs after (half second after) i press accelerate.
Anyhow i try to change this i keep getting the same result, Any resolution same thing. even lowest 640 x 480.
Can u help me please?
I get real trouble flying aircrafts and driving.
The frame rate is very goood, nothing’s with the graphics.
Thanks Alot..

How is my writing? (looking for constructive criticism)?

////EW EARTH
Preeminence

“Carson, what’s your position…? Carson, do you copy?” a voice sounded over Sean Carson’s com.

Sean wasn’t answering his commanding officer. Instead he was heading in the direction of the CEC through the war-torn streets of Washington DC with his M-12 pressed against his chest. His uniform smattered in an urban grey provided sufficient camouflage along with a black protective assault vest and shin guards.

His eyes darted up and down and side to side as he scouted possible positions enemy combatants might take up to stage an ambush. His Spec-Ops training made him a deadly adversary. Sean was alert, concentrated and emotionless. His mind was set on one thing, and that was to get to the CEC to find Kate.

Constant explosions rocked the metropolis only a few blocks from his position. Smoke was rising from half the buildings in the city as small arms fire and panic echoed through the streets up ahead.

Sean paused abruptly at the sound of several objects approaching over-head. Suddenly several enemy aircraft flew past the sky unexpectedly with a thundering roar of jets. He jumped as far as he could for cover, just before one of the aircraft dropped its payload only a half-block away. The shear concussion of the explosion was almost enough to madden a deaf man as fragments of rubble and debris shot screaming in every direction, followed by a blinding cloud of smoldering smoke.

Sean was lucky he dove behind an old car just before the explosion, but he wasn’t without injury. The ear-piercing shockwave of the explosion impaired his ability. He tried to stand as he staggered around while coughing profusely. He could barely get to his feet. His hearing was diminished and his vision was distorted. He tried to maintain his balance, but could not. He slumped against the car as he held his pain throbbing head with both hands. He sat there for several minutes while continuing to cough before regaining a small amount of his fortitude.

Sean was resilient and his goal was of the most importance to him. He wasn’t going to let his injuries stop him from reaching the CEC, so he picked up his M-12, which lay on the cement next to him. He rose to his feet and began to look around, but nothing was visible through the thick dust which now encompassed several square blocks.

Static started resonating through Sean’s com but the voice was unintelligible until it began to come through more clearly.

“Carson… Carson, do you copy?” a voice said just before the static picked up again for a few seconds prior to becoming clear once more. “Carson, are you there? Answer me damn it!” the voice shouted.

Carson coughed before looking at his shoulder where his com was strapped. He slowly reached for it but paused just before taking the com, the twinge showed on his face. He was in excruciating pain.

“Carson, do you copy? This is Sergeant Ross…”
Carson could barely work up the strength to reach the com unit hanging on his shoulder.
“Carson, here…”
“Private, what’s your position?”
“I’m—“Sean couldn’t begin to even start his sentence, instead he groaned loudly before switching off his com prior to getting back down on the ground.

He reached into his pack and pulled out a small red cylindrical tube that he proceeded to unscrew before a large syringe was revealed in his hands. He began to read the label… “Warning; use of this compound may result in blindness, paralysis or death. Utilize at your own risk.”

The syringe was filled with a G-2 experimental stimulant. Soldiers on the battlefield were required to carry it, should mortal wounds occur. Roughly half the soldiers who ever use it end up dead in just a few minutes. Those who survive its effects receive an exponential boost to their visual equity, stamina, and motor functions. It was engineered to keep soldiers fighting on the battlefield for several more hours even after sustaining deep wounds, which was just exactly what Sean needed. But the risk was high. If the stimulant didn’t work he would die. If it did work, he would become stronger and faster than he was before, but not without possible side effects.

Sean heard a few stories about the soldiers who survived a dose from G-2. Most of them ended up paralyzed, do to the extreme strain on the nervous system. A few others came out fine, but the odds of that were not high. He didn’t want to use the G-2, the risk was too great. But he had to. He had to find Kate and make sure she was alright.

Sean raised the syringe to his arm, about to inject the substance when he began to stall. He stalled like a man that puts a weapon to his head, so sure of what he’s doing, but at the same time terrified to take his own life.

I can’t lose confidence now, I have to find her! Sean thought to himself, just before working up the courage to plunge the syringe into his arm.

i scored a 76 on my asvab but am uncertain on what AFSC i want. any job suggestions based on experience?

Active duty air force. I want some Excitement and adventure. i dont wanna have a boring job. at the same time i dont wanna be on the frontlines so to speak. (sorry spec ops guys) im looking for suggestions based on experience and why i should select that one. if i read one that sounds interesting i’ll do some research on it and see for myself =)all info is appreciated

on a separate note. these are my jobs ive selected SO FAR

1. aerial gunner
2. loadmaster
3. aircraft armament systems
4. helicopter maintenance
5. tactical aircraft maintenance

Thanks for the help